Incomplete

Ahem! Forget the way she intrudes my thoughts for that is the easiest part. I am sitting behind this desk at the back of my class, wondering whether i am in the right one. Wait, is the course seduction because i would really be glad to be in attendance. There is no chance i am ever getting her to speak to me without some classes. I cannot trace the seconds back to the moment i zoned out. I mean it’s like whenever i think about her, and i mean think so hard about her- it feels like i have this test i really need to pass so i really have to put in the work. In my line of work, there is nothing like casualties.Well,mainly because i do not work-but for some reason i am so madly in love with her i’d move in to a flat nearer a hospital. I do not apologize for any of this and if loving her this way is too wordy then maybe i should be deaf and dumb, but even then i’d love her in my sleep,in my thoughts, in my hears,i would love her in braille and with every breath i take. I would stop breathing if she asked me to, hell i am already a fool for her.

Ever since i bumped into her, i have felt this deep urge to find destiny and thank it, but if you get in touch with it before i do,please pass my gratitude. She has my heart over speeding in these rusty lanes of my chest. Sometimes i hear the tires skid when it nears a bump,the point i should reason but somehow she starts this car chase that i never evade. So she got me in handcuffs. I am her prisoner. I know we met by accident but if i don’t slow down this intense,frivolous desire i have for her, i might just end up the casualty in my line of whack.

For some reason, without her i feel incomplete yet i have all my body parts. I am into her completely, submerged beneath the decks of the titanic wreck. i love everything about her,from the way her face lights up when she smiles you would think the sun sets behind her eyes to the way she blinks and all i feel is a tremor in my world. I am a flower prson but the way she bites her two lips entices more than a bouquet of spring-blooming tulips. There is a way i am torn in between being the man that makes the move or just give into the fear of rejection, but every time i hear her laugh, my soul is sewed back together to completeness.

I really wish i had her number, which normally people just ask for. I would call her the best gift i ever had in all the years i have lived, i would rejoice and cry all my tears away, my tears of joy because i have known no such happiness. I would call her in the middle of the night when the moon was shining even brighter and the lights just got dimmer every time i heard her say my name. I would listen to her talk about her day, how her hair was a mess even though i always thought she was prettier then, i would listen to her talk about everything the world rule out as weird, crazy and boring.

I’d take her hands and i’d hold them, squeeze them so tightly in mine she’d think she had some metal in her because it felt magnetic. Except for the braces in her teeth, she was my iron lady. I would look into her eyes and say-Give me your sorrow and i’ll break it. Give me your imperfections and they will shatter meaningless in my hands, give me a voice and i will scream this love so the whole world would hear just how much they still need asylums, give me crayons and i will paint the sky sweet and write baby all over it, because that is how she makes me feel.Gimme a chance to adventure in your lustful ocean and i will row this boat to paradise island and give you my love so raw you would never know what sadness  was if you lived a million lifetimes in a row. Relieve cupid of his duties and strike my heart with the arrow. Own my heart, for i have nothing left to lose or gain. Come on love, shoot me dead with charm to the ground. I am yours. Sneak in to my fortress and drug my blood with your love. Come sit on the throne of my heart for you are royalty.

You are the only one for me.All i want in my life is her, so if i died then i’d die a happy man. Time and again i try and picture how my life would be with her beside me. Yes we have big,beautiful bodies and we ain’t kids no more but believe me when i say she and i would fit perfectly together in the frame of love, we would make those picture perfect memories like in the soap operas. Only this time they would be real. She is absolute perfection, I mean who are we kidding. Maybe we should ask the painter that did her skin, left her this patch of rainbows in her eyes, perhaps the artist who curved her body and left the overflowing rivers of sweetness dripping from her body. How i lust for that taste, i wanna roll my tongue through the miles of her body crossing every bump of scar from her past bruising my tongue with her tenderness till it got sore. I know, yes i know and i’m sure of it. I wanna capture all the moments she smiles and laughs till the world comes to a stop, i wanna fill my walls with the pictures that still my sadness, those that remind me that even though i do not have her yet, she is worth stumbling down and falling for.

Maybe its because of the way she looks at me at the corridors, when i just freeze my gait and wait dead,trapped in my skin. Maybe it’s because after she walks by i just wanna run after her and apologize for God knows what, or maybe its because i cannot say her name without thinking of anything else but grabbing her dress with my teeth and unbutton everything that conceals her nakedness or just grab her by the nape and drill my way through her sanity with my lips until she forgets she is the master of her body, but being ruled by a slave of her own charms, in that moment and time. Maybe it is the way thinking about her just courses desires like electricity through my bones, when i think of her breasts so close to my sweaty,naked skin.

I have had moments in the past, but none like this. To the edge of time, love will protect me. If she ever loves me, wait when she loves me back, i will be complete. This love was a star, and i wished for her, it was a mystery train and i boarded with no definite destination, it was a word and i stole the alphabet so we would make love that didn’t make sense with the rest of the letters that could spell you and me, us , those that could spell our names and those of our kids. Love was a blank page so i wrote and wrote countless letters of sentiments, it was not a walk in the park but i still carried my umbrella to shelter her when it rained, i wore high boots so i’d carry her when it got muddy and barricade her in my arms when the thunder scared her. Love was a night full of a million stars, so i made coffee and got blankets to keep us warm. Love was a swim in the ocean even when the waves were rowdy and threatened to wash us back dead to the shore. Love yet was a raging storm that i sailed right into. Love was an incomplete statement.I was incomplete without love, without her love.

Dearly beloved, bear me witness in a case that you know nothing about. Hear me through this rain pouring heavily like it will never stop. Fall asleep in my arms to the rythm of the raindrops sliding through the holes in my roof. Pay no attention to the buzz and rattle that dares sway us from this moment. Let us jump over this cliff and hit our bodies so hard in the shallow waters for what is life without you beside me. Smile even as the rain is gone and all is left is tomorrow. Come to me with that aching heart for mine is alike yours. Let us not pretend and walk in the shadows that hold us captive. Cut me and let me cut you so we are one tonight in this ritual. Be the secret i walk away with in this pact. My feet are naked in these boots i wear, join me. Let us walk in the sandy beaches of the south till our feet soak and itch. Today the horizon calls us, the light is you and i.Let us vow this silent devotion-being in love with you as i am. Hold me tight so i wake up with you in my arm for then, i will know i am complete.